"Ellen Schoeters is a member of Actorama + where actors can upload a monologue or scene performance for peer review. What do you think of Ellen Schoeters's performance?"
| Character | Bailey Miller,Teacher | |
|---|---|---|
| Scene type / Who are | Persuading somebody, Master/Servant | |
| Type | Comic | |
| Year | 2021 | |
| Period | Any | |
| Genre | Comedy | |
| Props | Book report | |
| Description | A student presents their nonexistent book report and reveals the reasons they didn’t complete the assignment. | |
Summary
A student, Bailey Miller, is forced to present her book report on Moby Dick. Not only did she not read the book, she attempts to give gradually more far-fetched excuses as to why she didn't do the assingment. Her teacher sees through her lies and fails her.
Written by Lauren Woods
| Excerpt |
|---|
Teacher: Alright class, it’s time to present the book reports you’ve all been working so hard on. Who wants to go first? (Silence) Nobody? How about you, Bailey? Come on up!
Bailey: (Clearly nervous) Hi. Let’s talk about Moby Dick, a book by Herman Melville. Moby Dick was written in 1851. Moby Dick is about a whale being hunted down by fishermen. Moby Dick is a great and interesting book I highly recommend you read. The end. (Tries to walk back to their seat)
Teacher: Wait, just a minute, Bailey. I was hoping to hear a bit more detail about your experience reading this novel. How about you tell the class about your favorite part?
Bailey: Oh. Okay. (Grasping at straws) I guess my favorite part is when they kill the whale. The whale does die, right?
Teacher: No. “The whale” doesn’t die. All of the fishermen do.
Bailey: Oh...right. I must’ve misremembered.
Teacher: Bailey, did you even read this book?
Bailey: Well… I skimmed through it.
Teacher: Uh-huh. You had a month to read the novel and write a report. And you didn’t do any of it. Why not?
Bailey: I was busy! I had three movies I needed to watch with my family!
Teacher: Alright…
Bailey: And then I had to go to my little sister’s birthday party!
Teacher: Okay!
Bailey: And then my friend asked me if I wanted to play a video game with him and I couldn’t say no! I really really wanted to read this masterpiece of classical literature, but I had no choice! It was torture!
Teacher: Well, while I truly have great sympathy for all of the horrors you’ve had to endure, I’m afraid I have no choice but to give you a 0 on the assignment.
Bailey: No! Wait! I was hiding the real reason I didn’t do my book report from you for your own safety. I was recruited by an FBI agent to complete a top secret mission in order to save humanity from being destroyed! But then it turned out the FBI agent was an ALIEN. He kidnapped me and held me hostage in his spaceship where they ran all kinds of experiments on me! But they took pity on me and taught me their language. I was adopted by the alien king and queen and became the heir to the alien throne. Any day now, they will call for me and I will be taken up into space again. Sooner rather than later, depending what my grade on this book report is.
(Long pause)
Teacher: Bailey?
Bailey: What?
Teacher: Sit down.
Bailey: (Knowing they’re busted) Okay. |
