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| Character | Danielle Williams | |
|---|---|---|
| Gender | Female | |
| Type | Comic | |
| Year | 2021 | |
| Period | Any | |
| Genre | Comedy | |
| Props | Phone | |
| Description | A woman makes an interesting request after learning that her sister is going to have twins. | |
Summary
A delusuional woman, Danielle, calls her sister Martha to "congratulate" her on her pregnancy of twins. In reality, she has an alternative idea-her sister should give her one of the twins. She tries anger, sympathy, and theivery to try and convince her sister to fork over the baby.
Written by Lauren Woods
| Excerpt |
|---|
(On the phone with their sister) Hi Martha. I just wanted to congratulate you again on your pregnancy. And twins! That’s going to be a lot of work. Hey, you know, I’ve been thinking about it, and I know about everything. (Looks around before whispering confidentially) Look, it’s okay. You don’t need to tell me how miserable you are about this. You only signed up for the one baby. They had no business trying to take up twice your time like this. If only something could be done to fix this. (Clearly lying) Oh my gosh, Martha! I just had the craziest idea. What if you gave away one of the babies to someone else? And what do you know, Brad and I just happen to be browsing for one! (realizing her mistake) Looking! I mean, we’ve been looking for a child of our very own. Just think of how perfect it’d be! That way the kid gets to stay in the family and away from you. Plus, we’re twins, so this is just too poetic to not happen. What do you say: Do you wanna be an auntie? (Pauses to listen to her sister’s reaction) No?!? What? How could you DO this to me, Martha? You get two babies and I get none? You’re so selfish! What ever happened to sharing is caring? (Sneakily calms down, clearly lying) Okay, you’re right, you’re right. I’m acting crazy (rolls eyes). I’m sorry. (Pauses again, pretends to be offended but what the sister says is clearly true). What? No, of COURSE I’m not not going to steal your baby! How could you ever come up with such a thing? (Pauses again). No Martha, YOU’RE being crazy! This accusation is absurd. I am shocked. I am offended. I am hanging up! (Hangs up the phone) |
