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| Character | Director,Matthew Anderson (AKA Actor as Mercutio),Actor as Tybalt,Jordan Taylor | |
|---|---|---|
| Scene type / Who are | Colleagues | |
| Type | Comic | |
| Year | 2021 | |
| Period | Any | |
| Genre | Comedy | |
| Props | Two prop swords, scripts | |
| Description | When the star of the show is injured, the clueless understudy must step in and attempt to understand theater lingo. | |
Summary
The scene opens with two actors performing Mercutio's death scene from Romeo and Juliet for their school play. When the actor playing Mercutio is injured and has to leave the show, the eccentric director places Jordan, a clueless understudy, in the role instead. Comedy insues as the director tries to stage the scene, but is hindered by Jordan's complete misunderstanding of theater terms.
Written by Lauren Woods
| Excerpt |
|---|
Director: And, action!
Actor as Mercutio: O calm, dishonourable, vile submission! Alla stoccata carries it away.
(Pulls out his sword)
Tybalt, you rat-catcher, will you walk?
Actor as Tybalt: (EXTREMELY over-the-top) What wouldst thou have with me?
Actor as Mercutio: Good king of cats, nothing but one of your nine lives; that I mean to make bold withal, and as you shall use me hereafter, drybeat the rest of the eight. Will you pluck your sword out of his pitcher by the ears? make haste, lest mine be about your ears ere it be out.
Actor as Tybalt: I am for you.
(Pulls out his sword too)
Actor as Romeo: (Pleading) Gentle Mercutio, put thy rapier up.
Actor as Mercutio: Come, sir, your passado. (As they charge each other with their swords, the actor playing Mercutio trips and hurts himself. The actor playing Tybalt starts gently hitting them with his prop sword.) Actor as Mercutio: Oww! Wait! Stop it! Cut!
(The actor playing Tybalt stops)
Director: Hey, only I get to say cut! (Sees his hurt leg) Oof...that looks pretty...interesting.
Actor as Mercutio: I think it’s broken!
Director: (Clearly unprepared) Ugh….you can take five.
Actor as Mercutio: Five?!? I’m going to the hospital. I’m out of the show.
(Actor as Tybalt helps him off the stage and returns)
Director: Shoot. I need to replace him. Who’s his understudy? (Remembers) Jordan! Today’s your lucky day!
(Jordan looks up from where he was playing on his phone in the corner or doing another mindless activity)
Jordan: Huh?
Director: Matthew broke his leg!
Jordan: (Shocked) Oh my gosh, that’s terrible.
Director: What? No it isn’t! Now, you’re the star of the show! Get onstage!
Jordan: (Clearly unprepared) Uh...now?
Director: Yes now! Take it from the top of this page. I’ll teach you the blocking.
Jordan: (Scared): Blocking?!?!
Director: (Looks at him like he’s crazy) Is there a problem?
Jordan: Nope!
Director: Action!
Jordan: (Reads from script poorly): O calm, dishonourable, vile submission! Pasta marinara carries it away.
(Pulls out his sword)
Tybalt, you rat-catcher, will you walk?
Director: Okay, now I want you to walk downstage and confront Tybalt. (Jordan, confused, starts to physically climb down off the stage) Wait, what are you doing?
Jordan: Going downstage?
Director: No! Get back onstage and just walk closer to the audience.
(Jordan does so)
Actor as Tybalt: (EXTREMELY over-the-top) What wouldst thou have with me?
Jordan: (Completely profile to the audience) Good king of cats, nothing but one of your nine lives; that I mean to make bold withal, and as you shall use me hereafter, drybeat the rest of the eight.
Director: (Cutting him off) Okay, you need to cheat out.
Jordan: What?!? (Lying) I’ve never cheated on any of your tests, I swear!
Director: Ugh...nevermind.
Jordan: Will you pluck your sword out of his pitcher by the ears? Make haste, lest mine be about your ears ere it be out.
Actor as Tybalt: I am for you.
(Pulls out his sword too)
Actor as Romeo: (Pleading) Gentle Mercutio, put thy rapier up.
Jordan: (Breaks character) Wait, isn’t cheating out the thing where you turn towards the audience instead of facing sideways?
Director: Yes.
Jordan: (Turns completely towards the audience and points at the director confrontationally. They also say “passado” really weirdly)) Come, sir, your pescado.
Director: What was that?!? You’re talking to him, not to me! Don’t just stare at me, face him!
(Jordan turns back to Tybalt)
Actor as Romeo: Draw, Benvolio; beat down their weapons. Gentlemen, for shame, forbear this outrage! Tybalt, Mercutio, the prince expressly hath Forbidden bandying in Verona streets: Hold, Tybalt! good Mercutio! (Tybalt stabs Mercutio. Jordan falls down.) Jordan: I am hurt. A plague o' both your houses! I am sped. Is he gone, and hath nothing?
Director: Okay, when you say, “Is he gone, and hath nothing?” I want you to break the fourth wall.
(Jordan springs off the floor where they were “dying,” runs all the way offstage, and starts kicking the back wall, trying to break it)
Director: (Stands up and shouts): No! Stop! Nevermind. Just go back to dying. (Jordan does)
Romeo: What, art thou hurt?
Jordan: Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch; marry, 'tis enough. Help me into some house, Romeo, Or I shall faint. A plague o' both your houses! They have made worms' meat of me: I have it, And soundly too: your houses! (Dies)
(The director stand up, giving a standing ovation)
Director: Bravo! That was beautiful! Jordan, I see many more roles in your future.
(Jordan looks terrified) |
